"I’m just gonna bullshit it."
- Normal guy: I really want to kiss you.
- Ed Sheeran: All I want is the taste that your lips allow.
- Normal guy: Let's cuddle.
- Ed Sheeran: Cover me up cuddle me in lie down with me and hold me in your arms.
- Normal guy: I want to hug you.
- Ed Sheeran: I was made to keep your body warm but I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms.
- Normal guy: She's a crack whore prostitute.
- Ed Sheeran: And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland or sells love to another man.
- Normal guy: Marry me?
- Ed Sheeran: Settle down with me and I'll be your safety you'll be my lady.
- Normal guy: I'm sad and lonely.
- Ed Sheeran: 'Cause lately I've been waking up alone, paint splattered teardrops on my shirt.
- Normal guy: I'm going to get wasted and sleep with someone else to forget about you.
- Ed Sheeran: I wanna be drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed
- Normal guy: Expect me to drunk diall you later.
- Ed Sheeran: And that tonight I'll call ya, after my blood is drowning in alcohol.
sex education at its finest
"so do tampons make girls feel like they’re having sex all the time?"
"How do you know when a tampon’s ready to come out? Or does it like, dissolve when it’s done?"
"Do you have to be a certain age to buy tampons?"
KatieMassey15: Just watching my boyfriend @jhutch1992 play some soccer
2010 was a simpler time
MY EX MAN BROUGHT HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND
AND SHE’S LIKE OH MY GOD
BUT I’M JUST GONNA SHAKE
AND TO THE FELLA OVER THERE WITH THE HELLA GOOD HAIR
WONT YOU COME ON OVER BABY WE CAN SHAKE SHAKE
Taylor liked this!
booty vs booty
I’m always amazed how much control Chris has over that shield. When Tom turns it is swinging around uncontrollably, while in Chris’ hand it stays perfectly still.
a $15 gift card to Louis Vuitton
*buys a piece of dust floating in the air*
Cartoon Bully Stereotype Collection
Thank you so much, John Oliver.